Thursday, 29 June 2017

A Christmas story

Hertfordshire member Brent Cheetham sent the following story to the Herfordshire Mercury which they reprinted on Xmas eve.

A Christmas story (fairy tale)

Mr Scrooge sat behind his mahogany desk and viewed through his glasses the two cold and bedraggled characters seated before him. For it was no less that Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg. Mr Scrooge lived in a big house in the old London town and looked down at our two downtrodden man. He said with a beam on his face “now you two owe me a fortune you need to pay me the debt that you both owe as the national debt has to be repaid now”. But replayed Cameron “it’s all down to that nasty uncle Gordon Brown who spent the money on unwise things” “be that that as it may” retorted scrooge” you still owe me the money and you will have to cut spending.

First to go will have to be Mr Clegg’s Christmas promises to his children over higher tuition fees” Mr Clegg broke down in tears and sobbed in his handkerchief “my baby my baby“ “I don’t know what your smiling at” said mr scrooge to mr cameron you to will have to cut down spending perhaps you could cut prison spending or the armed forces or the civil service but I must be repaid now“ Mr Cameron was now all doom and gloom for it was going to be hard times for him and Mr Clegg. They left mr scrooge downhearted to go home to a bleak house. “No turkey for you two this Christmas” shouted Mr Scrooge down the street as Cameron and Clegg trundled heads down into the snow storm in their long a weary walk home.

And so it was that the children of Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg were to toil and starve, and starve and toil for four solid years. After the four long years were over the national debt was brought down to zero Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg were happy and Mr Scrooge was happy for he was a rich man as he had been repaid his original loan ten times over. As for the children of Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg there was full employment, food in their belly’s and everyone had a roof over their heads, in fact they lived happily ever after. (I did say this was a fairy tell didn’t I ?). Happy Christmas Every body!

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